Awareness and Risk Reduction
It is important to keep in mind that a large portion of individuals who commit sexual offenses are not registered. Sex offenders often commit multiple crimes before being caught, if they are ever caught.
While learning about which registered sex offenders are in your community can be one way to protect yourself, it should not be the only method relied upon.
ULTIMATE PREVENTION
Perhaps the ultimate risk reduction effort is through prevention—but with a unique focus. Many prevention programs exist to provide potential victims of sexual assault with knowledge to protect themselves from harm or skills to thwart the efforts of sexual offenders. For the benefit of children, programs, books, videos or other educational venues have been available for many years teaching various kinds of touching, how to “just say NO” as well as enhanced skills in reporting unwanted sexual advances. But rarely is effort exerted to prevent children from becoming sexual abusers, which may be the ultimate risk reduction effort.
EXISTING KNOWLEDGE
In reality, the field of sex offender study is replete with information and understanding regarding characteristics of those who sexually assault. Although there are differences in sex offenders, there is a general base of knowledge regarding distinctive features that sexual offenders share, making possible programs connected to the prevention of sexual offender development. There is resistance to this effort however, which may be understandable but not acceptable.
RESISTANCE
Contemporary society is heavily influenced by a powerful media that has brought attention to the problem of sexual assault. Fear and loathing toward sexual offenders is a common response in the current vengeance-driven society, making it difficult for schools, communities or families to make a commitment to prevention of a problem they feel shameful admitting is a possibility. The resistance is understandable but dangerous in an effort to reduce risk of sexual assault.
But at the same time, contemporary society is filled with sexual messages for children, encouraging them toward sexual disrespect. Even though most families and communities resist talking to children about sex, the topic of sexual assault seems normalized in society through music, television, fashion and other media outlets. In spite of resistance, children forge forward, sponging sexual information with the path toward sexual disrespect easy to follow. Therefore, the ultimate risk reduction is to teach children sexual respect, in order to prevent them from becoming sexual assault offenders.
TEN TIPS/TECHNIQUES IN REDUCING RISK THROUGH PREVENTION
#1 BEGIN EARLY
Much debate exists concerning when to begin sex education for children, which usually results in efforts being implemented when children approach puberty, and focusing on the reproduction aspect of sexuality. Two problems exist with this approach, beginning with the challenge that waiting until puberty for discussions of sexual respect is reckless since most children reside in a society with a constant stream of sexually disrespectful messages already teaching them. Secondly, this approach is ill fated because reproduction or the bodily changes children experience in puberty have little to do with sexual respect. Therefore those who wish to prevent children from becoming sexual offenders must begin early with prevention, enhancing the possibility that strong influences will encourage the development of sexually respectful thinking.
#2 COMMUNICATE
If children are going to learn sexual respect, it will not occur through “a sex talk” or a single prevention program presentation. Sexuality is a significant part of life for most people and the needed lessons will occur through ongoing communication with trusting adults much the same as children learn a certain religion or learn moral teachings in other areas. The key to raising sexually respectful children is to avoid the “big talk” ideas and learn methods for communicating with children, on many levels, for much of their developing years, encouraging the message of sexual respect.
#3 RULES & ROBBERY
Although young children may not need to know many aspects of human sexual functioning, they are capable of understanding the concept of rules. Just as children can be taught to look both ways before crossing the street, or the importance of not playing with matches, they can learn that there are rules about touching. Children should be taught the rules about their rights to privacy and the rules about not stealing (robbing) another person’s right to privacy. These are easy lessons important for young children but these concepts of rules and robbery can have a lifetime effect in the path toward sexual respect.
#4 MANAGING THE WORLD
When adults become concerned about sexual assault, often the chosen weapon is stopping the supply of sexual information children receive. Whether it is protesting the adult bookstore, the skirt lengths of the cheerleaders or the sex education program in schools, the chosen method of attack is stopping sexual influence, which sadly may have the opposite effect in preventing children from becoming sexual abusers. A specific characteristic in sexual abusers is an “attraction toward the forbidden” and when a primary method of teaching children is a forbidden approach to sexual information, the problem may be nurtured by the prevention method. Clearly in countries where sexual information is freely disseminated, sexual disrespect and sexual assault is much lower than in countries where the well-intended method creates a forbidden nature to sexual information. The best method therefore, is to accept the sexual nature of the world and use it as a curriculum for teaching the opposite message of sexual respect.
#5 SEDUCTIVE SEXISM
There is little doubt that sexism plays a significant part in sexual assault as beliefs are nurtured that males are sexual but females are sexy. Traditional sexual roles not only contribute to encouraging boys/males to feel sanctioned in ‘taking sex” and females to feel responsible for encouraging “sexual taking,” but these sexist myths often prevent the system of intervention from responding appropriately to cases of sexual assault. It is extremely important to discourage sexist thinking by engaging men and boys in the prevention of sexual assault and to encourage families, schools and communities to challenge traditional sexist thinking that encourages sexual equality, sexual responsibility and sexual disrespect for both genders.
#6 BIRDS & BEES
In an effort to teach sexual respect, traditional methods of using animals as a representation of human sexuality should be avoided. The archaic ideas of the “birds and the bees” serving as a sex education curriculum are commonly used even though it is obvious that animals only “mate” for the purpose of reproduction which is only a small part of human sexuality. Animals do not make responsible sexual decisions in the same context as humans and in teaching sexual respect to children, only the differences between animals and humans should be part of any prevention or sex education curriculum.
#7 BAD EQUALS BAD
Many adults who wish the best for children have the contention that “bad equals bad” and that if children are just protected from abuse or trauma, they will automatically become good—respectful, healthy, caring adults. These thoughts are founded on society’s same contention since authors, criminologists and talk show hosts often search for the childhood trauma or negative experiences that explain the behavior of criminals. Unfortunately, studies show that sex offenders were not abused or neglected any more than the population at large and to believe this myth may leave children at risk for criminal futures. A more productive plan is to recognize that just because nothing bad happens to a child is no guarantee of a positive sexual future and that becoming a sexually respectful adult must be actively taught.
#8 DELAYED GRATIFICATION
There is little doubt among sex offender experts that those who sexually assault do not have the ability or choose not to control their arousal. Treatment and management centers for sexual abusers throughout the world, concentrate on arousal control. Yet raising children often discounts the need to teach delayed gratification. In seems few doubt the connection between sexual offending and lack of gratification control yet rarely do parents or teaching adults see the connection of that characteristic in raising children to have constant gratification and stimulation. Early education in teaching children to control their gratification needs can make a significant contribution to those same children having control over their adult sexual decisions.
#9 VULNERABILITY APPRECIATION
Similar to the concept of delayed gratification, most experts recognize that sex offenders do not appreciate the vulnerability of others and therefore treatment and management centers focus on “victim empathy.” In order to prevent children from becoming sexual assault offenders therefore, they must be actively taught to appreciate empathy. Unfortunately, many adults believe that learning to be tender, caring and sensitive to the needs of others is an automatic outcome of human development, which is not true. The ultimate prevention therefore, will recognize that competition and taking advantage of others seems to be subtly taught and encouraged throughout childhood, making children vulnerable for becoming insensitive to the needs of others. Therefore, in order to raise sexually respectful children, vulnerability appreciation must be taught to encourage sensitivity to victim issues long before sexually respectful or disrespectful decisions must be made.
#10 TOUCHING
Many cases of sexual assault occur with the idea that arousal must be acted upon or that once sexual attraction occurs, humans are without control. These are myths, but nonetheless prevalent thinking in American society, which only contributes to the problem of sexual assault. This thinking about arousal control seems to be connected to society’s touching phobia. American culture seems to discourage touching of males, especially as they get older, although female children are usually touched more frequently and for longer periods of time. Unfortunately, these touching phobia trends allow males to connect touching with sexual arousal and they do not learn skills in arousal control. Touching both sexes of children, especially during teenager years (and especially to males) encourages children to become desensitized to sexual arousal and touch and also contributes to the development of tender, caring and sexually respectful adults with a lifetime of sexual respect clearly possible.
This information is adapted from "There is NO Sex Fairy: To Protect Our Children From Becoming Sexual Abusers" by Jan Hindman.
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